Have you ever thought how long has it been since you had a hearty fulfilled laugh or been truly happy from the core…? Am sure most of us would not be able to recall the moment. Its because we are so occupied in thinking about our future dreams and our past resentments that we forget to relish our present. This is when we tend to lose the present moment and surprisingly our entire life. And we forget being happy.

Happiness: what exactly does it comprise of, what all possessions make one happy, can one declare oneself happy after reaching a particular stage in life, can one lose it and can it be regained…is it an inner feeling or an external expression…? Pondering over these questions could help arrive at what exactly happiness is.

I have met lots of people, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, working and jobless, famous and unknowns, beautiful and not so beautiful, achievers and non achievers but the strange fact I have noticed is there is no correlation between possessing worldly pleasures and happiness.

Once we (my husband and me) visited one of our relatives and I was surprised to see their very simple way of living and eating but they were very happy. They don’t have enough money to buy a house of their own but still they were content. They cannot instantly buy what they want to but still they are not complaining.

My maid is struggling in her life as her husband is not earning much and she has the responsibility of her three kids and their education. But I always find her smiling, so much so that her presence lightens the atmosphere and eventually makes me feel happy too.

Such people have access to a different world which keeps them free of unnecessary thoughts and tensions. I don’t mean that accomplished people cannot be happy; I just intend to say that it’s a matter of thoughts not possessions. It’s when you experience the present moment or now that you experience true happiness.

Now, how do we know that one is happy…most of you would agree when I say that a person is happy when he brings smiles to people around him. His mind is free from clutter and the unnecessary race of life. I myself feel happy at the moment when my mind is at peace, am content, satisfied, positive about life and attach less significance about myself and not because I have a house of my own or a bank balance of crores. So, isn’t it stupendous that we can achieve the state of happiness whenever we want to irrespective of other things in our life?

Summarizing by a liner, “Happiness is a way of being.”

So, start living in NOW and drop all your ego…only that’s the access to happiness.

By Happy…n Rock..!!

As we open our eyes to see the world around, our mother is someone who gives us the first purest and divine touch which gives us all the strength to face the macrocosm we stepped into. Shes someone whose selfless love gives us the vigor and fortitude to accomplish our dreams. Shes the bank where we park all our troubles to reap support and all the joys. Somebody has rightly said “God can’t be everywhere, so he created mothers”.

My mother, she has played different roles at diverse phases of my life…from being my strict teacher when I started school to being my understanding friend as I grew up.

Unable to receive a professional education, she wanted me to get the best of education and be independent. Since the time I was three, she has worked hard with my studies and that’s why I have always been among the bright students of the class. My father’s been in a transferrable job and we had to change cities every one and a half years. When I was six, we shifted to Rewari, a small district with not very competitive education facilities. My mom refused to compromise on my education quality. She convinced my dad and sent me to the best school around in the nearby city, almost 40 kms away. That is what has ensured my strong foundation and concepts. I still remember how anxiously she waited for me to return from my examinations, so as to evaluate my marks and performance. She was elated when I scored well, but she didn’t in any way let me be sluggish the next time in my preparations. She always used to push me so as to be just incomparable. Not only studies, she made me learn kathak for many years, various kinds of art like glass painting, oil painting, cooking, crafts, stitching etc.

Whatever I am today is all because of her…the way she stood by me when I needed her the most, the times when she would give me strength to move on when I was in distress, her never give up attitude, the way she kept my spirits up even in tough times, her prayers for my success and well being and how she taught me to be perfect in whatever I do.

All of us have dreams and aspirations about ourselves. But how can a mother dream the dreams her child does and sacrifice her aspirations because her child’s have more priority. I can’t even remember the number of times she has foregone her wants just to satisfy mine such as postponing her saree shopping because I badly wanted a cool pair of jeans.

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

The relationship a daughter shares with her mother is very special. To me, she is my best friend and my venting mechanism, with whom I can share all my troubles and feel relieved.

I feel shes played her part of duty in the best way, its my turn to now. I have acquired the finest skills and knowledge, now is the time to do my part of the duty as a daughter…to stand by her side, to give her all the luxuries and joys of life.

I always say to my mum, “Mum, please keep smiling. It sets the aura of our home. Alls well when you are happy and optimistic.” I thank God to bless me with my mom and pray to have her in my every life. God give me the strength to live up to her expectations and ability to fulfill all her aspirations. As its said rightly that, “The debt of the mother’s love cannot be settled even in all our lives”, I would like to thank my mother for everything.

Mom, I promise to abide by all the values you’ve taught me.

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”

At times, I wonder why the Creature called human being is made so lazy by the Creator. We would love to just lie down or have a party or plan an exciting travel or always look good stay fit etc. But lazy when it comes to resource building to cause all the above. I wish I don’t work much but money flows in. I wish I don’t exercise but I stay fit.

Why do we have these conversations even though we know it’s not possible to get the results without breaking our constraints of laziness? I think, this is where the suffering begins..it’s a vicious circle which most of us are unable to break. For eg..I badly want to stay fit but the moment alarm rings in the morning, the conversations that go in my head are am so sleepy..I’ll start from tomorrow..the day is so hectic lemme rest for some more time.  After I get up and I look myself in the mirror..I say..why didnt i get up for an exercise..here is where the blame starts..now inspite of the fact that I want perfect fitness I am unable to overcome my constraints and break the conversations of my little voice, it is that chik-chik constantly going on in our head which is very evaluative, and now am blaming myself and further deteriorating my health. So, can we see that inability to create our lives the way we want, forget doing good, it gets us one step below.

We can find innumerous such examples in our daily lives, but the point we all need to realise is that to create something we need to break free all the shackles we entangled ourselves in.

One way could be placing an external structure that helps us break it For eg. Putting posters of your ideal fitness near our bed to see it first or some motivational quotes or ask your friend to be after your life till you get up. Another way could be placing an internal structure like linking it with bigger goals eg. If am fit I will be able to get an increment.

So, lets lead the life we want to by shedding away all our concerns and cleanse the cobweb of retraints, coz these too are created by us. I believe, even though we r made lazy, we have umpteen power to rise much above it. Once we decide, there’s nothing that can hold me back. Am not just saying it for the heck of it but I invite you to look around and spot live examples of all such human beings existing.

From here on MY life  begins…

One of my colleagues in office is on an operation to find a daughter-in-law for her only son. And she is looking for a girl who is extremely fair, slim, beautiful, tall, pleasing personality, well educated in the same field as his son, working in a reputed organization, good cook, from a respected and well settled family, and mind you the parents should also have good etiquettes and should not talk non-sense..oh how can I forget same caste and the patri should match with good number of gund. That’s it….!!

 Am sure, she would never find the girl she wants coz no such perfect girl exists. And yes, its not just her story, it’s the same with every mother on a mission to find a perfect girl for her dear son.

 “Shes not as beautiful as my daughter.” Do you want to put her in the showcase?

 “Shes well educated but I don’t know if she’ll take care of her home.” Then why do you want an educated girl?

 And the anxious mothers go all around showing photographs and asking people as to who looks better of them all. How can I compare two individuals, all the unique. How can I tell by seeing, who is better? Can you..? Isn’t it so strange and illogical to reject a girl because her face looks more matured compared to her age?

 Aren’t all of these conversations going on between the ladies of the family who come back after evaluating/ scanning/ screening girls?

 Since, there is no girl who can match all the criterions perfectly, a girl, who’s the best after the entire search, enters the family.  Now, this is where the problem begins. The mother has an image of her ideal daughter-in-law in which she tries to fit her actual daughter-in-law. Then comes the expectations, the girl gets on to the project of fulfilling them by losing herself or for certain things, for which nothing can be done, like her dark complexion, she has to hear about it as if it is her fault.

And surprisingly, our society has no criterion for the guys. If a girl has the guts to reject a guy, shes an idiot and nakchadi (high headed) girl to let off such a nice rishta.

 We argue that our society is patriarchal and so girls have to face all this. The irony is that even if every second girl in our country faces the whole process for being the bride, she is the one who has set criterion for the perfect girl.

 I wonder, why do girls add to the suffering of girls in our society. And even I, as a spectator, blindly and dumbly see people doing it. Today, I take on to atleast make the mothers present/ aware to whatever evaluations they are doing, how did they feel and is it actually important. The most important qualification for a girl is to the life partner and not a beautiful piece of matter.

 Are you with me..?

Almost every third person I meet, normally has a story to narrate about his accidental landing in his present job/ career. “Oh! I had never thought of this as my future”. “I don’t know from where did this pop up.” “You Know, I always wanted to be a pilot.”

 Then, there are interesting twists and turns in some extraordinarily interesting stories. “I did MSc. Zoology coz my friend was doing it. I felt so lost after that. Couldn’t get into teaching coz of the poor academic record. U know, then I found out those National level exams which do no have GK, am bad at that. Got just one and applied. Somehow got through and so I have landed up in this Bank as Credit Officer.” HUH…Zoologist in a Bank..??

And then there was one staff member in our Bank, who is known for his knowledge in Advances..unbeatable I tell you. I generally asked him about his interest in finance, since when does he enjoy it..and there comes his reply, “I hate Bank work. I never wanted to be here. I had to marry off my 9 sisters and feed my family, so I had to be here. There was no time for my dreams. Am here since I was 19 years old…” Great na…People are doing great even in areas they never wanted to be in. A human being is such a unique creation, that he can adjust and create things according to the prevailing conditions. But then the irony is, still he is not happy and satisfied.

I feel, coming by whichever path, everybody with the right attitude is able to do well in his work. We ultimately find the Right job for us, something, which could be different from our dream career BUT definitely, which we are best at. Still we brood over what we couldn’t get in our life..that dream career, that dream company, that dream salary…endless.

As Human BEINGS, we have the power to create our lives the way we want to..to live a life we want to..to be happy IF we want to J Happiness is a way of being..it cannot be achieved or reached at. If at this stage, we might not have a choice to be a doctor, pilot, chef etc. but we certainly have one to be content.

Acceptance of our present, the way it is and the way it is not, gives us immense satisfaction, just try it once, it sets you free. Now, we have enough space to create something from where we are today. It paves a way to move ahead and make our life worth it.

Who knows we land up on another khajoor, this time the one we always to be on?

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